The Pharmacy

I forgot to go to the pharmacy today, I thought I had a few pills left. Turns out I didn't and now I'm in a hole. I can't fall asleep, I won't get tired and the same thoughts keep circling. I just finished watching Stay a few minutes ago. It's one of the best films I've seen in a while. My arm hurts, and I don't know why. If this is all the works of the meds I don't know if I want to be on them because I wont be able to quit them without feeling like this again and it terrifies me. They're not good enough and I don't want to be on something the rest of my life that isn't good enough. I haven't even gotten a contact yet I've already been to two different doctors, in a month. I'm scared shitless that I'm going to be alone all summer, I'm scared shitless of not getting a job, getting a job, losing him, losing me. I'm so sick of not being taken serious and being brushed off as an attention seeking teenager. I don't care if the ADD/ADHD is the cause of this and that you don't think that it's a big deal, it's a big deal. It's a big fucking deal. And I can't spill my guts to a doctor.